yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
