I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
