Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.