I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
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She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
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Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment