you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
