you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
