Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize