I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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