this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
