does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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