Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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