watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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