Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
