and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
