the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
