It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
