Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
