im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize