I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
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