So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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