OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
