hell yes lets make some ravioli
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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