As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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