gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
