He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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