I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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