we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
