The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Randomize
