i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You're a waste of cheezeits
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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