bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
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Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
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if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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