All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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