i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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