As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
