i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
