I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
