PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
