Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
