His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
