ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
