U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I got inside last night via doggy door
My bed smells like the plague
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