Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
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I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
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She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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