What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i just google imaged poop.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
