party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
the liver wants what the liver wants
third nipple confirmed
Let's get the cat blown out
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Congratulations! We have a period
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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