I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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