Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
