We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
