Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
