i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize