I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
