My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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