Your tits are I can't wait for
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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