im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
