This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
did i walk over a car last night?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Randomize