why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
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