I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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