Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
