you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Randomize
