It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
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