Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
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My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
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I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)