I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.