You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
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