I think im going to throw up on grandma
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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